We have a little morbid topic today but it’s an important one, especially this year; Death. And I hope next year won’t be like this one. I lost my grandmother this year. It’s been more than 7 months since she passed away. I found out when I went to India in Spring Break in March. I missed out on both of my grandparent funerals which brings me a lot of personal regret. I know a lot of my friends who have lost a loved one whether it was human or animal this year as well. So I hope this post finds you well.

Death is tough. It changes you. You lose someone. It always comes as a blow, as a shock, as a surprise, as a nightmare coming true. It’s a difficult time for the mourners and the people around them. It’s hard. Processing death takes everything inside of you to pull through this moment in time. It breaks your heart and you feel empty. It brings regret too because you didn’t think it would happen that fast.

You feel helpless and lost. You feel like you have lost all control in life. You would do anything to turn back time. You would do anything to save them. You don’t know what to do with life for some time. You feel like you are in a dark tunnel and have no strength to keep going. You become selfish because you would rather have them for sometime instead of losing them forever.

We all know that death is a part of life. However, we all pray that it doesn’t happen until we are dead ourselves so that we don’t have to go through that excruciating pain. It takes time and support to move on. It makes you realize to hold your loved ones closer. We often forget to pay attention to the people we care about (pets too), intentionally or unintentionally. Death is a reminder to cherish them more. But don’t let death be the only reminder to cherish their presence.

Sometimes, we don’t know how to comfort someone who’s lost someone. Which is totally acceptable because you don’t know which words are the right ones or you haven’t been through that experience yet. Just being there for someone is enough. Just asking them how they are holding up is enough. Just offering your condolences is enough. Just taking care of them is enough. The last thing you should do is ignore it or ask them to move on.

It comes down to us too. Our perspective on life changes and suddenly we become more aware and try to change it. We try to do more things that we wouldn’t have. We realize that life is short. We realize that it’s time to take calculated risks. Sometimes there is so much chaos in our lives that when something tragic happens we realize that maybe we should slow down. Value time, cherish moments, pay attention to people we care about.

Whenever you lose someone. Look at it from another perspective. There is always a bigger meaning to why death occurs when it does. In my case, my grandmother couldn’t suffer anymore with her diabetes, it was enough for her but she lived her life. She saw her children get married and was present when all her grandchildren were born. So there is always something good to hold on to. So hold on to that, take a tissue, wipe those tears and smile about the happy memories you made with them.

Indian Chameleon’s Obiter Dictum for the Day
Remember those happy moments. Be glad that they were a part of your life. Hold on to their soul but let their suffering go.