These days there is a lot of selective engagement when it comes to connecting with people. People pick who they want to talk to and for how long for their own benefit. We have all grown quite selfish over time because of what we have experienced in our lives. Everyone has a certain worth to the opposite person and as the worth diminishes so does the relationship with one another.

I have seen it happen a lot around me and with myself. It teaches you  a few things. It changes you, sometimes drastically and sometimes nil. It’s an interesting concept that has developed and worsened. Every day, we ourselves are facing a problem, but we don’t always tell everyone about it. Which then comes across as hostile to our friends. Our friends start assuming something is wrong then over time drift away. And Poof!

It gets easier to leave than stay. Why deal with someone else’s problems when you have your own? It’s also easier to just find new friends to hang out with. Especially since we are all busy in our lives, creating something for ourselves that friends become merely a small part of our lives. We don’t think about making life-long friends anymore, we think about connections, benefits, and entertainment.

Not many people are comfortable with sharing with others. A lot of people rarely show who they truly are to their friends and family. Not a single person (except mom and dad) really knows who I am because I chose it that way for the only reason; Trust. We have all stopped trusting people easily which is the birthplace of selective engagement.  There is this “scared” feeling we all hold within ourselves that we will be hurt after exposing ourselves where then we hole ourselves up into a black hole.

However, it’s not always because of hostile behaviour or trust issues. But merely because you choose to be with certain people. Times change, people change their friends. I have seen it happen with me and others and we talk about it often confused. We just let go of people so easily nowadays because it is so much easier to push it under the rug than address it. People move, people are in different time zones, people get the friends they have always wanted, etc etc.

Somewhere along the way, we have started creating relationships where we are seeing our own benefit first and importance it would hold in our lives before anything. If you make me happy and if I feel you are relevant in my life then you may stay otherwise you are no use to me. Suddenly we are objects to each other with a certain expiry date determined by the person who first gets bored. We don’t want friendships or relationships to take work anymore, we want it easy. Like I said before it’s an interesting concept and I am still trying to understand it. After all, you learn and live always!

Indian Chameleon’s Obiter Dictum for the Day
Treat others the way you want to be treated. It’s hard to because you want them to feel the neglecting feeling but self-guilt will catch up.