How to change someone?
You can’t. You shouldn’t. You should resist. You force. You try. You beg. You push. You compromise. You mold. You have to let go.

There have been so many times in my life where I have changed, expected someone to change, tried to change someone, seen my friends change their boyfriends/girlfriends or friends. Change is never easy and when you try, it’s not easy either.

You have to let go of someone in order to see change. It happens over time. You can’t control it and it has to happen from within. The person has to choose to change. You cannot dictate a person’s way of thinking, living, and reacting. It essentially boils down to who are you to change them?

It doesn’t matter if you are a family member, lover, friend, educator or even a therapist. You cannot ignite change in a person unless the person themselves chooses to change. They have lived this long with their specific personality and didn’t lose much so why should they completely change themselves for one person? You cannot ask someone who you knew for a couple of years, months, weeks or even days to change because they have spent those 2 decades or more living their life a certain way.

The only time, someone will change is when they have lost everyone they love and care about which is highly unlikely in today’s world. The assholes find other assholes. The sweethearts find other sweethearts. Sometimes, you aren’t compatible with that someone and that’s okay. Think of it as an experience, life lesson, or even a speed bump. You have to be patient in life. There is a great saying I love, which is that nothing that’s worth it comes easy.

However, if the person has decided to change, you may help them become who they strive to be, only if they ask. You cannot save someone no matter how much you want to. They have to do it alone in their own time without any influence. About 10 months ago, I had tried to save someone but I had to let them go because it wasn’t good for me to be in pain nor was the person going to change unless they wanted to. I can see them changing now and it makes me happy.

It is difficult. It is hard. It is tempting to try. It is not worth the pain. It is a dead-end. It is pointless to force. To change someone.

Indian Chameleon’s Obiter Dictum for the Day
You have to let them go to truly see change. They will realize. Just hold on to yourself till then, love.