I came home on June 7, 2019, to Gurgaon, India. It’s been about 2.5 months now since I have come home except this time it’s different, it’s not for summer vacation or temporary purposes. It’s for good until I decide what the next phase in my life should be. I am still processing it but for the first time in a long time, I have gathered enough thoughts to write it down and share.

No one quite tells you about their homecoming. Instead, you hear about how random kids your parents know have gotten jobs or are onto the next chapter. Many would see homecoming as a failure and hide from society. Some have parents who go to the extent of creating stories to protect their child from the harsh opinions of society. In fact, I had to look up articles on how to process the whole “Going back home after college graduation” because it is not a topic that is discussed openly. The two main themes that resonated with me were about how you feel out of place and become depressed/anxious/lonely.

You go to school since you are 3 years old all the way up to 22 years old. Then you get a job at 22-23 years old and go back to school for 1-2 years more (if you can) and then work till retirement. That’s how it goes, right? We are told by our parents, mentors, teachers, professors, media, and society that those are the basic checkpoints we have to pass in life.

But what happens when at 22-23, you don’t have a job? what happens when you don’t go for masters immediately? What lies in the between of those checkpoints? And how does one even begin to deal with it? That’s the grey area that we need to talk about more and prepare ourselves for before the storm hits us.

It is excruciatingly difficult and destroys a part of you. In the moment, all you can think about is that you worked so hard and how could the world be so cruel. You become vile and jealous of your friends who seemingly have their life together simply because they have jobs or got into great schools. There is so much negativity that comes out of you that you don’t recognize yourself and it gets extremely foggy for you to see the whole picture. Oh and then there is the whole blame game, where you start nitpicking your shortcomings and flaws to the point where you convince yourself to believe you don’t deserve to pass the next checkpoint.

This is where you have to make a game plan and address your thoughts, negative and positive. This is where you talk and express to others and make sure your support system is ready on speed dial. It is hard because you have no motivation or will and its always so much easier to swim in negative thoughts than positive. You have to make sure you keep yourself in check and not lose yourself, you took years to build the person you are today. Don’t destroy her/him in minutes, please. If you have, then start working on getting her/him back.

You will be depressed/anxious/lonely and feel so out of place since you left home for 4-5 years. Being home makes you lose your independence and suddenly you feel agitated by this but try your best to vent in a healthy manner, discuss with your family, and lastly change your perspective. Simply changing your perspective and realizing that you are going to explode, can give you so much power over your mind, it feels like euphoria. You even smile and laugh at yourself. I can tell with 200% guarantee that when you look back at this time, you will say WHY THE HELL WAS I SO MAD IN LIFE? so take a chill pill dude/dudette.

Believe me, you are simply wasting time, you need to realize it before it is too late. I am telling you! I am doing it right now. Use this time to do those little things that you wanted to do which you couldn’t do because you were in school, college, etc. Cook, read books, watch movies, documentaries, travel, photography, arts, online courses, workout, get a pet (if you can), make yourself busy in other things and take a breath.

We haven’t taken a breath in almost 2 decades, take that breath. You earned it, you deserve it. And when YOU are ready, go on plan your journey to get to your next checkpoint. Enjoy this pitstop otherwise, you will burn out.

Indian Chameleon’s Obiter Dictum for the Day
Enjoy home, embrace your family, and learn to celebrate yourself.